Never Again
by aspire2write
Summary: The memories of his father still haunted him. The man was gone, his father, but that didn't change the fact that he feared him. The therapist is supposed to help with that. The plan was to go to therapy, get over the fear, and move on with his life. That was the plan...he wasn't expecting to find something in the lobby, someone. E/B One-Shot Contains scenes of abuse. Take caution.
1. Chapter 1

_******Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the  
property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

_**Never Again**_

I walked into the room and looked around at my surroundings. The beige walls and neutral furniture were supposed to be soothing, I'm sure. He wasn't in here yet which seemed kinda strange, but what do I know? I wasn't the shrink. I stood there waiting to see what I was supposed to do. Luckily, he walked through the door almost immediately.

"Hey," he said casually. He was wearing khaki pants and a short sleeve button up shirt. It wasn't casual, but it wasn't the suit and tie that I was expecting either. Weren't shrinks old and stuffy? This guy had to be in his late thirties at the most. "Sorry about that. Had to grab a drink. Did you want one?" He held up a coke.

"No. I'm good." I shook my head and stuffed my hands in my pockets not sure what I was supposed to do next. He walked over to his desk and sat down the coke before holding his hand out toward the furniture.

"Have a seat." I looked over at the couches and loveseats.

"Where am I supposed to sit?"

"Anywhere you want: couch, chair, floor. Don't care." I pulled my hands from my pocket, walked over to the couch and sat down. I crossed one leg over the other and crossed my arms. He grabbed his coke, a coaster, a notebook, pen, and digital recorder. He sat down on the loveseat that was next to me instead of across from me. That felt kind of weird. "So, Edward, I'm Matt. From your body language I can already tell you're apprehensive. There's nothing to be worried about; I promise. We're going to take this at your speed. We won't talk about anything until you're ready. I may have to push you towards that, but I won't force you to do anything. Kay?" I heard what he said, but we'd just have to see if he was lying.

"Sure." He smiled.

"Great." He picked up the recorder and held it up. "You okay with a recorder? I won't use it if you don't want me to, but I find it easier so I can focus on our talk rather than writing." I nodded. He clicked it, said my name and the date then set it on a table. "So, Edward, tell me why you're here."

"Um." I shifted trying to get comfortable. "Well, my parents think it'd be a good idea, talk about our life before…well before."

"Your parents; what are their names again?"

"Esme is my mom. Carlisle is my dad, my step-dad. I consider him my dad though." He nodded and pulled a leg up onto the loveseat.

"Do you think it's a good idea?"

"I guess." Even just thinking about it could throw me into a flashback which just caused me to get angry with myself afterwards. "I, uh, I don't want it to affect me so much." I'd blown up at Rosie a few times after I'd had a flashback. She'd only tried to help me, and I'd been an ass. "Rose, my sister-Carlisle's daughter, she gets the brunt of my anger since she's usually the one that tries to help me."

"Great start. You can't get where you're going if you don't know where you're going. Knowing what you want will allow us to build a path there." He leaned against the arm of the couch. I turned and pulled a leg on the couch and leaned an arm against the back of the couch. "So, tell me about yourself."

The rest of the session was pretty chill. I told him about me, school, and my family now. He didn't push me to talk about what we were there to talk about which I was grateful for, but I knew we'd get there sooner rather than later. At the end, he walked me to the door and said he'd see me at the same time next week. Mom had scheduled standing appointments.

I shook his hand and turned to leave. Across the waiting room sat a girl probably my age. She had long brown hair and legs that looked a mile long. She didn't look that tall though, but she was sitting down, so I couldn't be for sure. That's all I could tell since she was looking down reading a book and chewing on her finger.

"Bella," Matt said as he knocked on the wall. The girl in the corner didn't raise her head. "Bella!" he said a little louder and waved his hand around. She jerked her head up, still chewing on her finger. He chuckled. "You ready?"

She stood up, stuffed the book in her backpack, and held it close to her body as she walked toward the office. When she passed by me, she looked up and gave me a tentative smile. I couldn't even smile back. I was too stunned at how pretty she was, not hot because that didn't feel like enough. She had soft looking skin, pretty pink lips, a cute little nose, and Hershey kiss chocolate eyes. The top of her head came up to my chest, probably about my armpit. She was tiny. Before I could gather my senses, she looked back down and hurried into the office.

"See ya next week, Edward."

"Yeah, Matt. Next week." He shut the door before I could get another look at the girl. I shook my head and walked out the door. Oh well.

~NA~

"Alright, Edward, I think it's time we talk about what brought you here," Matt said. It'd been four weeks since I began seeing Matt. He'd been really patient, not pushing me to talk about it. Well, not pushing me until now. I was expecting it though. I couldn't just do small talk for the next year or however long I would need this. And I really did want to get better. My family deserved better.

"What do you want me to say?" I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn't know how I was supposed to do this.

"Can you tell me about the first time?" I rubbed a hand over my face. The first time.

_I was playing in my room with the new science kit my mom bought me. I thought it was so cool; there were like 30 experiments I could do with it. I was working on the volcano when I heard the front door slam against the wall. The sudden noise made me jump. I froze at the sound. It scared me. I heard him yell for Mom, his voice sounding funny again. _

_I stood up and walked to the door so I could see down the stairs. Mom might need me. Dad had been…_mean_ since he stopped going to his job every day. He would spend all day looking for another job, Mom said. Times were hard, and jobs were harder to find. I didn't know what that meant, but Mom said Dad was just upset that he couldn't take care of us._

"_Get in here, bitch! Now!" His voice was so loud. I saw Mom hurry to the living room from the kitchen. She got home late from work, so she was rushing to get dinner done._

"_Ed, please," she tried to whisper, but I walked closer so I could hear. "Edward's in his room."_

"_I don't give a fuck where that little shit it!" I hated when he said stuff like that. I tried to be good for him. "Where's my dinner? I expect to have dinner ready when I get home. Why isn't it on the table?" I walked down a few stairs so I could see them._

"_I had to do a little overtime at work today. I didn't get home until-Oh!" I jumped when he slapped her. She grabbed her cheek and looked at him. I knew that look. She was scared._

"_I don't want to hear excuses. Get me my food."_

"Edward look at me," I heard Matt say. I looked up not realizing I'd spaced out. My chest hurt with every breath. "Slow, deep breaths." I tried to slow my breathing, but the fear always had such a strong grip. "Edward, do as I say. Deep breathe in, and hold it." He paused. "Exhale. Again. Deep breathe in, and hold it. Exhale." I listed and tried to do as he said. Eventually it worked. "Good. Again." He waited until I was calmed down again. "Does that happen often?"

"Uh." My voice was shaky. I _hated_ that he could do this to me. "Yeah. I'm so fucking _weak_."

"Hey, you're not weak. You can't blame yourself for that; it wasn't your actions that created that fear. That was your father's actions. We'll learn how to deal with the underlying fear so that you can control it later, but it's going to take time." He stood up and grabbed something from his desk and wrote on it. "For now, I'm prescribing you Ativan. I only want you to take it when you're having an anxiety attack. That is the only time. Don't take it to help you sleep or anything else. This is just temporary. I'm going to give you the tools you need to stop these on your own, but that will take time. Understand?"

"Yeah." I wasn't going to take them though. I wasn't some pansy that needed drugs. I took the script from his hand. "That all today?"

"Yeah. That's all for now. I'll see you next week, head on out. I've got to do something before my next appointment."

I stood and walked out of his office. Bella was in the waiting room again, just like every other week. I'd determined she had a standing appointment too. She was reading again, a different book this time though. She'd already finished two and was on her third since the first time I saw her. I smiled as she chewed on her finger. The habit was cute. I'd finally smiled back at her the second week, and she'd blushed before looking down and hurrying into Matt's office. The next week I'd said 'hi.' I walked over and sat next to her before I lost my nerve.

"Hey," I said softly. She looked up at me like a deer caught in headlights. "I'm Edward." She just stared at me making me wonder if I had something on my face.

"Um…I'm Bella," she finally said. I smiled wider. Her voice was soft and sweet.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." She smiled tentatively. "I see you're reading a new book?" I looked down to see if I could figure out what it was. "Is it something you've read before, or is it new to you? It looks pretty worn." I looked back up to see her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Um…I-" She looked around almost like she was trying to see if someone was watching us. "I'm s-sorry." She looked down and picked at the pages of her book. "I don't know what you said. I-I can't hear." I was stunned; didn't see that coming. I waved my hand so she'd look back at me. I made sure to look at her when I spoke this time.

"That's okay. The book." I tapped the book. "New or repeat?" She smiled, and this time it was wide. I couldn't help but smile myself.

"Repeat." She closed the book, and I looked down at the cover. It was _Ender's Game_ by Orson Scott Card.

"Great book." She nodded.

"I love it. I had to read it freshman year for class, and it was so much better than I was expecting. He wrote a whole series, and those are great. Don't get me wrong, but this one is the best. This is my fourth time reading it." She blushed, embarrassed at the admission.

"I own the comic books." She giggled. Yeah, I knew I was a total nerd.

"I didn't know there were comic books. I bet they're awesome." I nodded.

"I-" I hesitated. "I could bring one next week if you want to see it." Her eyes brightened.

"Really?" I nodded.

"Bella," I heard Matt say behind me. I looked over at him which clued Bella in that she'd been called. "You ready?" She nodded and stood grabbing her backpack.

"I'm sorry. What was your name?"

"Edward." She furrowed her brow and turned her attention to Matt. I looked back to see him Matt signing something.

"Oh. Edward." She looked back at me. "It was nice talking to you, Edward." I nodded. "See you next week."

"Yeah. Comic book in hand." She smiled before ducking her head and walking into Matt's office.

~NA~

"I can still hear her telling me to go back to bed," I told Matt, my eyes focused on the replay in my head. I'd been seeing Matt for four months now. Unfortunately, I'd had to use the Ativan a few times, but over the last few weeks I was able to use those tools Matt talked about to calm myself down. "I wanted to help her. I wanted to stop him."

"You were a child, Edward. Did you really think you could stop him?"

"At the time, yeah."

"What about now?" I paused to really think about it.

"I could have…maybe I should have…distracted him?" Matt raised an eyebrow. "Probably not, huh?" He smiled sadly.

"Probably not." I shook my head and rubbed my chin.

"It was always so terrifying. I thought she'd wind up dead. There were times he'd finish, and I'd find her passed out on the floor, blood all over her." I could feel my heartbeat start racing. I took a deep breath and tried to think of something else. I pictured Bella's smile when I brought in the first Ender's comic book.

"Did you ever try to step in?" I shook my head.

"I thought about it. Almost did two times. One time she was pretty bad. I called 9-1-1 when she wouldn't answer me."

"Oh? What happened?"

"_Mom," I whispered and shook her shoulder lightly. She didn't answer or even groan like usual. "Momma, can you hear me?" Blood dripped out of the side of her mouth, and her leg looked funny. I tiptoed for the phone and called 9-1-1. Mom always said if there was a real emergency, to call that number._

"_911, what's your emergency?" a nice lady asked._

"_My mom's not answering me. She usually makes a noise, but she didn't make a noise this time."_

"_What's your name?"_

"_Edward."_

"_What do you mean she won't talk to you, Edward?"_

"_She didn't answer when I shook her."_

"_Where's your mom?" _

"_In the living room. Can you help her? I don't know if she'll be able to stand up. Her leg looks funny."_

"_I'd be happy to help, Edward. Can you tell me where you live?" I looked around when I heard something from the bedroom. Usually he stayed in there after he did this._

"_I live next to Ms. James. She lets me hang out sometimes after school before Mom gets home."_

"_Is this your home phone?" I nodded. "Edward?"_

"_Yeah." _

"_Okay. I'm sending one of my friends over to help you. He can get there faster than me, but I'm going to talk to you until he shows up, okay?"_

"_Okay."_

"_Edward, does your mom have her eyes open?" I moved to her other side to see her face._

"_No." I lay down next to her so she wouldn't be alone._

"_Is your dad home?"_

"_He's in his room. We don't di-turb him when he gets home. I have to be very quiet." _

"_What happen to your mom?" I didn't say anything. Other times when Mom got hurt and someone asked her about it, she didn't tell them the truth. Was I not supposed to?_

"_I dunno." I could hear those sounds outside that Mom said meant someone was getting help. I hoped it was for her. _

"_Edward, did your daddy hurt your mommy?" The noises got louder, and I could see lights coming from outside._

"_I think your friend is here."_

"_Can you open the door for them?" I stood up and walked to the door. When I pulled the door open two men were jogging up the sidewalk. _

"_I can't let strangers in the house. Are they your friends?"_

"_Ask if one of them is Steven. Steven is my friend that's going to help." I looked up at the man with a kind face._

"_Are you Steven?" He smiled._

"_I am. My friend Ashley said your mommy needs help. Can we come in and help her?"_

"_Are you Ashley?" She chuckled. It was a pretty laugh. _

"_Yes, I'm Ashley."_

"_Okay. Come in." They hurried inside and went straight to Mom. "Thank you, Ashley."_

"_You're welcome, Edward. My friends are going to help your mommy. Can you go next door and give Ms. James the phone? I want to let her know what's happening so she doesn't worry. Can you do that for me?"_

"_What about my mommy?" I didn't want to leave her._

"_Steven's going to be there with her. He's going to take very good care of her. You don't want Ms. James to worry, do you?" I shook my head and ran out the door. Ms. James was on her porch looking at our house. _

"_Edward, sweetie, what's going on?" Ms. James asked me. _

"_Ashley wants to talk to you," I said as I handed the phone to her._

"_Hello? Yes, this is Martha James. I live next door to Edward." She got quiet and the longer she was quiet, the sadder she looked. She sat down on a chair and pulled me into her lap. I laid my head against her. I was so tired. It was dark out, so it was past bedtime. "Well, I heard yelling earlier, but that's normal." I covered my mouth to yawn. "I didn't see anything. I've had my suspicions, but I haven't seen anything, any type of proof." My eyes were heavy. "Yes. I'll get ready, and Edward and I will go to the hospital."_

_I heard my house door open and looked over to see what was going on. Steven and the other man were leaving, pulling a really small bed on wheels. Mom was on the bed. I started to go see her, but Dad walked out behind them._

"_Esme?" he said softly and he almost sounded sad. "Esme, baby, it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. That was a nasty tumble you took down the stairs, but you're going to be just fine." Stairs. I guess that's what I was supposed to say. "I'll be right behind you, sweetheart. I'll be at the hospital as soon as I can."_

"_Yes, bye," Ms. James said. I looked up when she hung up the phone. She smiled at me. "Edward, let me change clothes and we're going to go to the hospital where they're taking your mom. Okay?"_

"_Is she gonna be okay?" She kissed my head like she usually does. _

"_I'll be right back, sweetie. Just a few minutes. Wait right here."_

"You did exactly what you were supposed to do, Edward," Matt said, bringing me out of the memory.

"Yeah, well, sometimes it feels like it wasn't enough."

"She lived. She lived because you called 9-1-1. You did exactly what you needed to do in that situation."

"No, I didn't. I didn't tell them _he_ was the one that did it. I told them she fell down the stairs.

Just like he wanted me to." He shifted in his seat and leaned forward.

"What would he have done if you had told the truth?" He was so mad at me when he found out I'd been the one to call 9-1-1. I turned sideways and pulled a leg onto the couch. That was the first night he'd touched me in anger. Mom had always been there and stepped between us. We were in the hospital, so he caught himself quickly after he grabbed my shirt and pulled me to him, the anger in his eyes glowing.

"He would have hurt me." Matt nodded and sat back.

"Yeah. He would have. Your mom wasn't there to be a buffer. He would have hurt you, and depending on the level of anger, he might have done worse." I nodded slowly. He was right. "Well, I know we've got 10 minutes left, but I think that's enough for today. Yeah?" I nodded again. "Sweet. Head on out. I'll see ya next week."

"Bye, Matt."

I smiled as I left the office and saw Bella in the waiting room. We'd spent time talking each week over the last few months getting to know each other. She was a cool person. She liked science fiction like I did and played video games. We'd exchanged PS3 information and had a few Halo tournaments. She was kick-ass at it too. I loved how riled up she'd get when I beat her. She had a mouth that could rival a sailor when she wanted that was so hot. There were a few nights I'd signed off the PS3 and gone straight for the shower.

"Hey," I said as I sat down next to her. She looked up from her book, one of the Enders Series, and smiled.

"Hey!" She reached into her backpack and pulled out my comic I'd let her borrow. "Here." She handed it over. "Thanks for letting me borrow this. It was great."

"Of course."

"So, I've been practicing, and I think I can beat you now. I figured out a few secrets to the game, and next time you are sooo going down." I laughed.

"You wish," I said and signed. She smiled and blushed again.

I'd been teaching myself sign language over the last few months. She was pretty good at reading lips, but if I got excited about something and talked too fast, she had a hard time keeping up. I also figured that she was communicating with me the way I knew how; I should do the same for her. I wasn't very good by any means, but she seemed to appreciate the gesture.

"Did you see that _Ender's Game_ is coming out soon in theaters?" I asked, signing the words I knew. She smiled and nodded.

"I hope it lives up to the book. I can't wait to see it when it comes out on video, but that'll be a few months away," she said kind of sadly.

"Well, I was thinking…" She looked at me hesitantly. "We both like the book." Her expression made me nervous. "It could be fun, going to see it. What do you think?" She titled her head with furrowed brows. I realized I hadn't really asked her and wanted to smack my forehead. "What I meant to say is do you want to go see the movie with me?" She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Edward." My heart sank. She was going to turn me down. _Stupid, stupid. You read this whole situation wrong._ "I really do appreciate the offer, but going to the movies can be kind of difficult for me." Okay, that wasn't a flat out refusal. She was just worried about the logistics. Logistics I could tackle.

"Come on, Bella. It'll be great. The Regal Meridian on 7th is showing it with captions next Friday. I thought we could grab some food beforehand then see the movie. You said you've always wanted to try sushi, and Blue C Sushi is right next door to the theater." She smiled lightly and her eyes got misty. _You just keep fucking it up, Cullen. Now you've made her cry. _

"That," she started to say but stopped to clear her throat. "That sounds great." I couldn't contain my smile.

"Yeah?" She smiled a little wider and nodded. "Great. Why don't I get your number so we can make plans?" She nodded. I took out my phone and entered her name in the contacts then handed the phone over to her. She typed in her number and handed it back. I saved the entry and sent her a text. I heard it buzz in her bag. She must have felt the vibration, because she pulled it out. She smiled when she read it. _Can't wait for next Friday._ She smiled over at me and laid her hand on my arm.

"Me too." My arm tingled where she touched me. It felt good.

~NA~

"Do you think you're ready to tell me about the event?" Matt asked not two minutes after I sat down for the session.

I shouldn't have been surprised by the question. I'd been seeing Matt for six months now. We'd worked through a lot. I had my panic attacks under control, and the Ativan was sitting in my parents' medicine cabinet for rare emergencies only. We'd talked about pretty much all the big fights, the big things from the time Mom was still with _him._ This was the last big thing to tackle technically. It was the hardest thing to tackle.

"I can still see it like it was yesterday," I said.

"Have you ever talked about it before?" I shook my head. "Well, why don't you start from the beginning of that day."

"It was a normal day. I went to school; Mom went to work. He just…didn't even get off the couch. He'd stopped looking for a job by this point." I turned sideways and pulled a leg onto the couch. This seemed to be my go-to position since Matt always sat to the side. "When I got home from school, he was still lying there. Mom came home late. She'd been able to work a little overtime. We needed it since he was such a leech."

"_What are doing home so late, bitch?" I heard him say from my bedroom after the door opened. Mom was home. "I'm starving, and I _still_ have to wait for you to cook dinner. What the fuck?!"_

"_Ed," she said. "Please not today. It was not a good day at work, but I was able to make some overtime. We really need to the money. We're behind on the electric bill. They'll cut it off if we can't pay in the next two weeks."_

"_Why the hell haven't you paid it?" I walked to the door to watch. It felt like it was going to get bad. I watched as he stood up and got right in her face. _

"_We're broke! That's why. I'm trying so hard to keep this family going, but I only make so much. Then you just drink it away!" She never yelled at him. She always talked soft, said it calmed things down. He pulled his arm back and punched her in the face. Her scream made me cringe. I needed to help her. _

"_Don't you EVER talk to me like that. I am your husband!" He pushed her away, and she fell hitting her head on the edge of the table in the hallway. I ran down the stairs and stood in front of her. _

"_Don't, Dad. She's hurt," I said, my voice shaky even though I wanted it to be strong. He looked at me funny then laughed before reaching out and slapping me. My head snapped to the side, my cheek stinging so bad my eyes got teary. Mom gasped._

"_Ed!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me to face her. She reached up and wiped my lip. When she pulled her finger away, I saw blood on it. "Edward, baby, are you okay?" I nodded, but the motion made me wince. My face was hurting. "Sweetie, I want you to go upstairs to your room. Close the door, and don't come out until I tell you to. Okay?" I didn't go quickly. "Please do as I ask, Edward. Okay?" I nodded. "I love you. Remember that."_

"_Love you too." I went to my room and did as she said. _

_The yelling got louder as they fought more. I lay on the bed and pulled the pillow over my head hoping to drown out the noise. It helped a little, but I could still hear it. They were yelling and things were breaking. I wiped away the tear that slid out of my eye. I shouldn't cry. Crying was for girls, and Dad didn't need another reason to hate me._

_All of a sudden, it got very quiet. I couldn't hear anything. I pulled the pillow off my head to listen, but it was still so quiet. I sat up on the edge of the bed wondering if I should go check on her now. She might need me to help clean up again. I stood up and walked to the door. I put my hand on the doorknob and paused. If I went out too soon, I'd just make it worse for her. I jumped when I heard a big bang. I froze, not knowing what I should do. I slowly opened the door. At the bottom of the stairs was Mom holding a gun._

"_Edward." I looked at her with wide eyes. A gun? I didn't even know we had a gun. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay."_

"_Mom?" I took a few steps down the stairs. "Are you okay?" She smiled. "I-is Dad going to hurt you?" She sighed._

"_Never again."_

"Did you understand what she meant at the time?" Matt asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I-" I paused as I thought about it. "I knew what she meant. I understood that he wouldn't hurt us again. I don't think I knew how."

"Did you see him?" I shook my head.

"No. Mom made me stay upstairs. From what they tell me, she called the cops. At one point she came upstairs, picked me up, and held my face to her shoulder while she walked me over to Ms. James' house. I stayed with her until Mom came to get me a few days later. We never went back in that house, just went straight to Grandma's, Mom's mom."

By the end of the session, I was beat. I'd never talked about his death before, so by the time I got it all out, I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home and take a nap. Mom was planning to make lasagna for dinner though. That meant I just wanted to go home, eat, and _then_ take a nap. I wanted to be rested up for tomorrow, because Bella and I had plans after school. Matt followed me out the door of his office.

"Bella," he said as he knocked on the wall. Bella looked up from her book and smiled at us. "5 minutes. Okay?" She nodded. I walked over and sat next to her, leaning in to kiss her in greeting.

"Hey beautiful," I said and signed.

"Hey handsome," she said with a smile but it faded quickly. She held my cheek as she looked at me with worry. "You okay?" I nodded.

"Rough session."

"Rough." She did the correct sign for me. "And I'm sorry." She dropped her hand to my thigh. "If you don't feel up to tomorrow, we can reschedule."

"No." I shook my head. "I'll be fine tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" I leaned forward to kiss her again. I really liked kissing her.

"I promise. We're still on for tomorrow. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"I'm not trying to get rid of you. I like having you around." I smiled at her.

"Yeah?" She rolled her eyes and pushed my leg.

"Yes."

"Sweet. Now tomorrow I'm going to pick you up from school. You have book club until 4:30, right?" She nodded. "I'll be there at 4:30 then. I'm taking you to dinner at The Crab Pot and then we're going to the Pinball Museum." Her eyes lit up.

"I've wanted to go since I found out about that place."

"That's why I'm going to take you. Depending how late it is when we're done there, we may go to The Aquarium." She smiled and bounced a little in her seat.

"That sounds great."

~NA~

I sat at my spot on the couch. My spot. It wouldn't be my spot for long. It'd been 10 months since the first time I sat down on this couch. This was our last standing appointment. I'd still see him on an as-needed basis, but I didn't really see that happening, at least not anytime soon. Things were good, great even. Today was just a wrap-up. It felt good to be done with this part.

"Well, Edward, how does it feel?" Matt asked.

"It feels good," I said as I scratched my chin. He laughed and nodded.

"Well, I'm not going to keep you any longer. Just know that I'm always here if you need to talk to someone, even if it doesn't have to do with what we've talked about." I smiled and nodded. "You know, even if it has to do with some brunette." I couldn't keep from smiling. We didn't talk about Bella except for in passing, and I was wondering if it was going to come up today.

"I don't think I need to talk about Bella. We're doing great."

"I'm a little surprised, seeing as you couldn't even form a sentence the first time you saw her."

"Shut up." I could feel the tips of my ears heat up. I laughed though; it was true. "So it took some time to say anything to her, but I did. That's all that matters."

"So y'all are good?" I nodded. "How long have y'all actually been together?"

"Six months."

"That's quite a while." I nodded. "So what are your plans now that you don't have to see me handsome face every week?"

"Well, I graduate in a few weeks. Bella will graduate next month, and then we're off to college."

"Where are you going?"

"I decided on MIT, for their computer science and engineering program." He looked impressed which made me feel proud.

"That's a great school. You'll be clear across the country. Do you have family out there?" I shook my head. "Wow. That's a long way to go alone."

"Well, I won't exactly be alone. Bella's going to Northeastern, so we'll be within five miles of each other. That's closer than we are now."

"Those are both great schools. I can see you both doing well. Y'all have the drive for it." I nodded. "Alright. Get out of here." I stood up and he stopped me. He grabbed a card from his desk and wrote on the back. "My cell number is on the back. You can call that anytime, day or night. I really mean that too. I don't care if it's 3:00am. If you feel it's an emergency, you call."

"Thanks, man." I shook his hand.

"Good luck with graduation, the move and school." I smiled before walking out the door.

"Hey beautiful," I whispered when I reached Bella and she looked up from her book. She smiled as I leaned forward and placed my lips on hers. I lingered there for a moment. I smiled when I felt her hum against my lips.

"Done?" she asked. I nodded. "I've got a few more weeks. He's trying to find someone in Boston for me to see, said it might be good to see someone for the first couple of months."

"He may be right." I sat down beside her and pulled her hand into mine. I wanted to touch her all the time. "I'll be there to help make the transition as smooth as possible for you, but I can only do so much." She smiled and brushed her thumb over my cheek. I closed my eyes when she put her lips on mine.

"Ever since I lost my hearing, I wondered if I'd ever find someone that was willing to give me a chance. You know, not a lot of people would give some deaf but speaking freak the time of day."

"Hey!" I held her face in my hand. "Don't talk about yourself like that. You're not a freak." From the look on her face, she could see how serious I was. She placed her hands on top of mine. "Those people that don't 'give you a chance' are idiots. They don't know the beautiful, wonderful girl they're passing up. You know what though; they're loss is my gain." She smiled, her eyes getting misty. "Now don't do that. You know I hate to see you cry." She laughed and sniffled. I dropped my hands into her lap.

"Well, I guess I don't have to wonder anymore then, huh?"

"No." I leaned forward and kissed her. "Never again."

* * *

**A/N 7-28-13: I know it's been a really long time since I've been on here, so I want to say hi to those who were my loyal reviewers. I miss you guys! This was actually inspired by the Nickelback song of same name. It can be pretty depressing, so I wanted to mix some happy in there. I may try to do a futuretake for this; not sure yet. So if you want to see more from this Edward/Bella, alert the story just in case. I'd love to hear what you think. Good, bad, ugly...okay, maybe not ugly. That's never fun. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

_******Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

_**Never Again - Bella**_

_I get up because I'm supposed to, but if it were up to me, I would stay in my seat for the rest of time. I feel like there is a bubble in my chest that expands more by the second, threatening to break me apart from the inside. _

I turned the page and sighed. _God, do I know how she feels._ I'm barely ten pages into the book, but I can tell it's going to be a good one. I saw someone at school talking about it and thought I'd give it a try. If everyone didn't consider me a freak, I'd thank the person, but the sentiment wouldn't be appreciated.

I saw movement from the corner of my eye and looked over to see Matt waving at me. When I read, I got lost in the book, in that world. I forgot about the real world. It was so nice to just forget sometimes. Next to Matt stood a guy, a _really_ cute guy that looked to be my age. Not that I'd ever a have a chance with someone like him anymore, but I couldn't help but admire. He was tall and slim, probably over six feet. He wore Converse shoes, jeans, and a batman t-shirt. His hair was all over the place, but it looked good on him. And his face was just so _pretty_.

I looked down quickly when I saw he was looking at me. I closed the book, put it back in my backpack, and held it in front of me as I walked to Matt's office. When I passed the guy I looked up to see him one last time. He was staring at me so I smiled. He didn't smile back. I mentally sighed and walked into Matt's office taking a seat on the couch. He closed the door and jogged over to sit on the loveseat to the side of me.

"How are you?" He signed and said. I shrugged.

"So, so," I said. I could feel my vocal cords move, create sounds, but the world was silent.

"Did you go see that movie you were talking about? _Riddick_, right?"

"That was it, but I didn't go see it. No one was showing it with captions. My mom called, and they all said it wasn't a big enough movie to warrant them."

"I'm sorry." I shrugged. I didn't want pity. I pulled my legs underneath me and turned toward him. "Well, how do you feel about telling me what made you lose your hearing? You've been coming here for a few weeks, and I think it's time we start tackling some of the big issues." I pulled my finger to my mouth and stared chewing. "What better place to start than the beginning?"

"It was a Monday," I signed. "Dad was taking me to the movies. I was meeting up with some friends and then we were having a sleepover at Katie's house."

"_Bells!" I heard Dad yell from downstairs. "Come on, princess. You're gonna be late." I rolled my eyes. Calling me princess when I was eight because I reminded him of Belle, my favorite Disney movie at the time, was cute. Now…not so much._

"_Coming!" I yelled back as I swiped my purse and ran down the stairs. I opened the door and looked back to Dad in the living room. "What are you waiting on, old man?" He rolled his eyes and huffed making me smile. _

"_Get in the truck." I hurried out to the F-150 and hopped into the passenger seat. Dad slid into the driver's side and pulled out of the driveway. "What movie are you guys going to see?" I shrugged._

"_I'm not sure. Some chick flick."_

"_What's it rated?" I rolled my eyes again even though he couldn't see me as I looked out the window. _

"_It's a porno with a plotline." _

"_Bella Marie!"_

"_I'm kidding, Dad." I laughed at his face. He was so gullible._

"_Who all is going to be there?" I huffed. _

"_Dad, don't interrogate me. Just because you're Assistant Chief of the Seattle PD over the Criminal Investigations Bureau doesn't mean you can treat me like one of your suspects."_

"_I'm not-Bella, baby I just worry about you." I reached over and patted his arm. _

"_There's nothing to worry about, Dad. Katie's parents are picking us up from the movie as soon as it's over. I'll call you tomorrow when you can come pick me up. We're going to talk about boys, paint our nails, and eat lots of junk food."_

"_I just want you to be safe. You're my baby girl." _

"_I know." He stopped at a red light and turned to look at me. _

"_I trust you. I just worry. If you saw what I see every day…I love you. You're all I have, princess." Dad rarely got emotional, so when he did it could be a bit uncomfortable. I turned away when it looked like he was getting teary. It took a moment to register what I was seeing._

"_Daaaaadddddd!" I screamed as a truck raced toward us. _

"_Bel-"_

I reached up and pushed my fingers against my temples. My head throbbed every time I thought about the accident. My eyes were watery, so I wiped them before looking back at Matt. He reached forward and handed me a tissue box. I signed my thanks and placed it beside me. He stayed quite while I gathered myself, my thoughts.

"It was a drunk driver," I said. "He lost control of his car and hit us going about 60. There wasn't anything Dad could have done. When he hit us, my head was knocked around. My temporal bone was fractured which is what caused me to go deaf."

"How old were you?"

"It was the week before my sixteenth birthday. I've been deaf for about two years."

~NA~

_Ender stood there watching him laugh and thought of Stilson, thought of how it felt to crunch in his body. This is who needed it. This is who should have got it. _

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and realized someone had sat down next to me. I looked over and realized it was the guy I'd been secretly ogling the last few weeks. It seemed he had a standing appointment right before mine, because he was always leaving as my appointment was to begin. I looked over in the middle of him saying something. I missed too much to be able to figure out what he said, but my best guess was that he was introducing himself. I took a chance and introduced myself. He didn't look at me strangely, just smiled wider, so I figured I was right. He had such a gorgeous smile, straight white teeth, eyes lit up, and the cutest little dimple on his left cheek.

For the past four weeks, I'd been watching him as he left his appointment. He always looked at me and smiled, but he just walked out of the office. This was the first time he'd approached me. There was one other time, last week, when I thought it looked like he was walking my way. I was wrong though. He'd left like usual. Now he was beside me, and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. I didn't have to do anything though, because he started talking.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," his lips said. "I see you're reading a new book." He knew it was new. He'd been paying attention to what I was reading. I felt a little flutter in my stomach at that realization. He looked down at the book in my hands. I could tell his lips were moving, but without him looking directly at me, I couldn't understand him. My heart sank. He looked back up at me.

"Um…I-" What did I say? I looked around hoping to see Matt. He was nowhere to be found, so I knew I couldn't avoid it any longer. It was nice while it lasted – the attention. "I'm s-sorry. I don't know what you said. I-I can't hear." I kept my eyes on my book, not wanting to see the disappointment or unease on his face. I'd spare myself that at least. I could see him waving his hand out of the corner of my eye. I looked up expecting to get the brush off.

"That's okay. The book." He tapped the book in my hand. "New or repeat?" I couldn't contain the smile. He didn't seem disappointed or uneasy. He seemed curious, genuinely curious. He was still talking to me, and I wasn't exactly sure how to act. He smiled back at me.

"Repeat." I looked down at the cover hoping my blush wasn't showing. When I looked back up, he was nodding.

"Great book." I nodded; it was a really great book.

"I love it. I had to read it freshman year for class, and it was so much better than I was expecting. He wrote a whole series, and those are great. Don't get me wrong, but this one is the best. This is my fourth time reading it." I cut myself off when I realized I was rambling. I was such a nerd. He was going to really have a reason to run now. Guys didn't like when a girl was too smart. I wanted to kick myself for ruining this before it even began.

"I own the comic books." I couldn't help but giggle. He was nothing like I expected.

"I didn't know there were comic books. I bet they're awesome." He nodded.

"I-" he hesitated. "I could bring one next week if you want to see it."

"Really?" He wanted to bring something for me to see? He wanted to talk to me again?

He looked behind him suddenly, and I followed his movement. Matt was standing at the door looking at me. I guess my time was up with this cute guy. Matt asked if I was ready, so I nodded and stood grabbing my backpack. I started to leave and realized I didn't catch his name in the beginning. I wanted to know it, know who I had been talking to and made semi-plans with…even if it was just to look at a comic book.

"I'm sorry. What was your name?"

I felt my brows furrow as he spoke. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. The name must not be common; I was fairly good and reading lips. I turned to Matt hoping he'd help me out. He finger spelled it for me. _Edward._

"Oh. Edward." I looked back at Edward. "It was nice talking to you, Edward." He nodded. "See you next week."

"Yeah. Comic book in hand." I smiled before ducking my head again to hide the blush I could feel creeping up on my face and walked into Matt's office.

~NA~

_My desire for your bones to heal and become strong, so that they don't snap at the slightest pressure. So that you could stand again, or even raise an arm without your own muscles tearing away chunks of bone or causing the bone to break under the tension. So that I wouldn't have to watch you wither away until now you weigh only eighteen kilograms. I never knew how perfectly happy we were until I learned that we could not stay together._

I looked up when I saw movement from the corner of my eye. I smiled wide when I saw him. I still couldn't believe he'd taken an interest in me. He was the ideal guy. Not only was he extremely good looking, but he liked Halo, sci-fi, and had a quirky sense of humor. It's baffling that someone hadn't snatched him up yet. I told myself often not to get too attached.

"Hey! Here." I gave back the comic book he'd let me borrow. "Thanks for letting me borrow this. It was great." I teased him about our upcoming match we had planned on Halo. I'd been doing some research, looking for cheats and secrets I could use against him. I was pretty good at the game, but he was better. I was used to winning so playing against him and losing was kind of refreshing. I'd made it my personal goal to beat now.

"You wish," he signed. I felt my cheeks heat up. He'd been using more and more signs every week. I don't know how he was learning, but it felt good to see him do it. No one, besides family, had taken time to learn for me. It was flattering. He asked if I'd seen that _Ender_ was going to be in theaters soon.

"I hope it lives up to the book. I can't wait to see it when it comes out on video, but that'll be a few months away." I hated that I had to wait until video so it would have captions. Every once in a while a theater would show it with captions, but it was very rare.

"Well, I was thinking…" I watched intently as he hesitated. "We both like the book. It could be fun, going to see it. What do you think?" Of course it would be fun to see it. My eyebrows drew in confusion. What was he really saying? "What I meant to say is do you want to go see the movie with me?"

I tried not to let the shock show on my face. He was asking me out? Really? I searched his face for any doubt but couldn't find any. He was serious. "Edward." His face fell. _No. No, don't be sad. _ "I really do appreciate the offer, but going to the movies can be kind of difficult for me."

"Come on, Bella." He looked happier after what I said. "It'll be great. The Regal Meridian on 7th is showing it with captions next Friday. I thought we could grab some food beforehand then see the movie. You said you've always wanted to try sushi, and Blue C Sushi is right next door to the theater." I tried to smile, but it was weak. My throat was closing up, and I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes. _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't be a baby. _

"That." I had to stop and clear my throat. "That sounds great." He smiled so wide.

"Yeah?" I couldn't help but smile back and nodded. "Great. Why don't I get your number so we can make plans?" My throat was still tight so I just nodded. He fumbled for his phone, typed on it, then handed it over to me. I typed my number in the phone. It felt kind of surreal. This guy wanted my number. He hit a few more keys then I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it from my bag and smiled at the screen. _Can't wait for next Friday. _I smiled at him and laid a hand on his arm. He was such a sweet guy.

"Me too."

~NA~

I held the book in my hands but wasn't really reading it. My mind was mush after the day I'd had. It was a horrible idea for the teachers to schedule three major tests in the same day. The other classes were heavy lecture that required me to pay close attention and take good notes. I felt like my brain was done for. I looked up when I felt a vibration on the wall. Matt was saying five minutes so I nodded. Edward walked over and leaned in to kiss me. I just savored the moment.

"Hey beautiful."

"Hey handsome," I teased back. I was amazed at how comfortable we'd gotten since our first date two months ago. I frowned when I looked at him though. His eyes were tight, tired. "You okay?"

"Rough session."

"Rough." I did the correct sign for him. "And I'm sorry." I squeezed his thigh in support. I knew firsthand how draining sessions could be. They could take a lot out of you, could take days to come back from. "If you don't feel up to tomorrow, we can reschedule." He assured me he'd be okay, but I didn't want him to push himself. When I tried to protest again, he leaned forward and kissed me, lingering longer than necessary.

"I promise. We're still on for tomorrow. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"I'm not trying to get rid of you. I like having you around." He smiled at me.

"Yeah?" I rolled my eyes at his cheesiness. He was such a goober sometimes…and I loved that about him. I couldn't resist him though.

"Yes."

"Sweet. Now tomorrow I'm going to pick you up from school. You have book club until 4:30, right?" I nodded. "I'll be there at 4:30 then. I'm taking you to dinner at The Crab Pot, and then we're going to the Pinball Museum." I sat up at that.

"I've wanted to go since I found out about that place."

"That's why I'm going to take you. Depending how late it is when we're done there, we may go to The Aquarium." Oh, I couldn't wait.

"That sounds great."

~NA~

I tried to focus on the book, but I was too worried about Edward. Well, I wasn't exactly worried. It was his last session, and I wanted it to go well. He was nervous. He'd never admit it, but the thought of not having therapy again was kind of strange. When it becomes a part of your normal routine, on a weekly basis no less, the thought of that changing can be daunting. I just wanted everything to go well for him. I sensed him beside me and looked up just in time for him to place his lips again mine. I hummed as he lingered there and felt him smile.

"Done?" He nodded. "I've got a few more weeks. He's trying to find someone in Boston for me to see, said it might be good to see someone for the first couple of months." This was the first I'd admitted that. Knowing that Matt wanted me to continue seeing someone was hard to admit for some reason. I knew it was a good idea. Moving to Boston was going to be a big change, and Lord knew I didn't deal with change that well.

"He may be right." He sat down and pulled my hand into his. "I'll be there to help make the transition as smooth as possible for you, but I can only do so much." I smiled and brushed my thumb over his cheek. When he closed his eyes, I couldn't resist. I leaned forward to kiss him, show him how much he meant to me. He licked his lips when I pulled away.

"Ever since I lost my hearing, I wondered if I'd ever find someone that was willing to give me a chance. You know, not a lot of people would give some deaf but speaking freak the time of day."

"Hey!" He held my face as he looked at me angrily. He wasn't angry with me. He always got this way whenever I talked about myself in a bad light. "Don't talk about yourself like that. You're not a freak. Those people that don't 'give you a chance' are idiots. They don't know the beautiful, wonderful girl they're passing up. You know what though; they're loss is my gain." I smiled, tears gathering in my eyes. "Now don't do that. You know I hate to see you cry." I laughed and sniffled trying to keep the tears at bay. He hated to see me cry. He always made it his personal mission to put a smile on my face. When I did cry though, he just wiped them away and held me. He dropped his hands to my lap.

"Well, I guess I don't have to wonder anymore then, huh?"

"No." He leaned forward and kissed me again. "Never again."

* * *

**A/N 10-06-13: You guys asked about Bella, so here you go. It's not that long. I'm sorry about that, but this was never about her working through therapy. I actually have some stuff in my head for their time at college, so I'll probably be posting some of those in the future. I like your input, so if you have thoughts on what you'd like to see or if you have a scene in your head for these two, let me know. Maybe I can work it into the story. If you want to see more from this Edward/Bella, alert the story. :)**


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